One thing's for sure - once you've gone through surviving all the storm life throws your way, you know you can take on just about anything. Essentially, when you've already survived all that, you know you have nothing else to lose but you have everything left to gain. This is the thought process that propels me into greater things in life now.
How do you write down a few years into one "untold story" of what has really been happening in your life? There's already been a few rough drafts written, plenty of brainstorming over what to say, and yet it never seemed to come out right. It's not that things are hard to talk about, which I'm actually quite the opposite when it comes to adversity, as I would rather dance in the storm than sit down. However, all these messages have been about me, and that's not what my focus is now. It's about empowering other women, parents, and special needs caregivers that they can can do more than feel powerless over their children's conditions, or even surviving a failed marriage because it was too much for their spouse to handle, etc.
My (character building) mountain climb of a journey, is now a told story of my untold past history. What weaknesses happened to me yesterday, doesn't define who I am today, because those are worked on to become my strengths, rather than hold me prisoner as a victim of can't do's, and maybe I won't ever doubts. But really, what you can take away from this is this: This is a message told to empower those going through the same, or have gone through the same. Most of you close to me know what it's about. But for those who don't know..read on (there will be more than just this blog..too much to write in just one post).
What is this retold story about?
My journey back from (a quick overview):
- Surviving a few awesome tech startup companies going under
- Relocating near Portland - company goes under as soon as I relocate (3rd company in a row to)
- Just 7 wks after getting laid off, my health insurance lapsed, long story short: Colin!
- Difficult pregnancy: met w/college but after that counselor meeting I started bleeding/contract at 10 wks, so put on bed rest for weeks (College put on hold, ugh!)
- After so much happening so quickly, decided to take a break from work to try stay/home mom.
- Delivered a happy, healthy Colin, and tried some new parenting style: attachment parenting. VOWED TO RUN A MARATHON immediately after delivery, because labor/delivery is like running, but after 3 unmedicated non c-section deliveries I mentally KNEW I could run one (mind over matter) and set out that as a major goal.
- During the first year, Colin squinted ALL the time, and fatigue often. Pediatrician says he's A-ok.
- One day in a baseball field, a cloud comes over Colin to show me the sunlight was impacting his vision. Why? No idea...yet. That was captured on camera, and still sticks with me - eery. So rare.
- See a few Pediatricians, eye Dr.'s - everyone says, "Colin's vision is A-ok!" Let's go outside! No.
Few years later...
- Mike (ex husband) attended 4 yrs of college under 9-11 GI bill, which I creatively generated a budget that would make us entirely debt free the whole time, pay our bills ahead by 3-6 months, and actually have more money than working F/T - but to also enjoy raising kids 1-on-1 staying at home. Most peoples eyes glaze over when I explain it, but it made entire sense to me, and it successfully worked for years. (Yes, I will allow myself a pat on the back.)
- During the last 2 years of his college, is when the diagnosis and Dr/specialist appointments started for Colin.
- Every week, there was 1-3 differ appt's. Around 5 diagnosis in not even a few months time.
- Being the research-aholic I am, I intensely researched each diagnosis as they came. Days, hrs..
- No Dr's or specialists knew about the other rare genetic disorders, so I'd have to educate each of them, and speak with credibility and answer all of their questions about the disorders.
Ok, so LOTS of info...which makes this only PART 1...stay tuned for more updates...