Cheers to 2013, and farewell to 2012!

It's amazing at where you can find the most inspiring, deep understanding in people by even a simple quote, or perhaps even a TV show.  For me, it would have to be the most recently catching up to Private Practice last night via On Demand.  There is a Psychiatrist whom was diagnosed with prostate cancer and as he was going under a scan to see if he might have a mass elsewhere when he ran into a lady in the waiting area who was terminally ill with cancer.  Prior to this, he reconnected with his ex wife to try to ask for her support besides just fun weekend hookups.  She said she couldn't handle it and walked away entirely.  Ironically, the same that he did to the terminally ill lady until his own Psychiatrist mentioned to him that as he had experienced with his ex wife that not everyone has the adversity and ability to adapt and deal with some of what life throws our way.  He took life at it's grips and asked the terminally ill lady out on a date.  Yes, it all sounds fictitiously cliche.  In reality, this is real.  Not everyone can handle all that life throws at us, and even though we never expect it to happen, some just can't handle it all and instead walk away.  This has no part in my principals, but not everyone shares the same insight.  No matter what happens, some one must still take care of things and get stuff done.  Life isn't a simple walking away from things, as it only makes things far harder within time.

With that said..I'm grateful for 2013 quickly approaching!  2012 has been a world wind of happiness, sadness, stress, craziness, and all those lovely memories with my kids in between it all.  Sure there has been tons of doctors appointments, some things that come and some things that go, but all in all it's about savoring those wonderful small moments in life that make you feel alive, and stay present in them when they do happen!

I've had a crazy past few years during this time of the year.  This is the first Christmas and New Years  Eves that has brought me amazing peace after years of healing from a traumatic one when I was pregnant with my oldest son.  Every year taught me something new to learn from, heal from, and keep moving forward with continued progress.  As they say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.  This really has helped contribute to helping me handle all that is going on with Colin's journey this year almost like it prepared me for all this. I'm very grateful to be alive and living each day even with the good and the bad that comes my way. 

 A week from today my college classes pick up once again.  There is 16 credits altogether with 4 classes of Photography, Intro to Drawing, Women in Art, and English.  I completed my last term through thick and thin with a 3.57 GPA struggling greatly with Biology but completed it with an inspiring teacher.  The last 3 weeks of class was another dark point in my life where I just 'let it go' and let it be what it would be while doing what I could.  Setting aside my stubborn type A personality!  The most amazing moment happened to me when I did this.  While handing in my final exam my teacher leaned forward and whispered to me that to not worry about the test I had missed or the lab homework as she gave me both 100% for free on those.  I was floored, and left all misty eyed.  It was so refreshing to know that some one could do such a thing knowing that I was working hard and yet struggling due to too much on my plate with my personal life that just seemed to keep piling up.  I will NEVER forget that moment, as she really touched me permanently.  I'm working so hard to keep things together, complete, up to date, and yet retain all this homework college throws at me while also trying to memorize all that is going on with my sons medical situations..appointments..and such.  It really was a pursuit of Happyness moment.  I am also extremely grateful for my mom being such a huge support like she's never been before.  She would call to encourage, wish me luck, and support me with just honestly genuine motherly love when I needed it the most.  Not to mention those amazing friends who have been there along the way to reach out, listen, send me such amazing kind and supportive words along the way.  I'm truly blessed and SO grateful.   

They say you're not handed more than you can handle.  I'd have to laugh at that at times but despite the insanity I wouldn't want my past to be any other way.  Adversity, Courage, Faith, and Adapting are my huge keys to moving forward.  I'm sure all those years of pushing through long distance running also helped me tremendously to keep fighting and loving through even the most hardest hours.  I just know there is more in store, and more to be completed, and more to be done.  I don't mean that in a pessimistic way but in a realistically optimistic approach.  When people ask me how I do it or going to do it, I just let them know I've been through worse.  It has made me who I am and that is precious to me as I am Cambryn..one of a kind not just with my name but who I am.     

With that said, I wish you all the best New Years of 2013 possible!  Our journey continues as does yours.  Live like today was your last and don't forget to enjoy the sunrise each morning along the way. 

With that said, I leave you with one of my favorite poems by Maya Angelou--who I've had the great pleasure of seeing in person! Enjoy:

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

Cheers and much love,
Cambryn Courson (aka: Conner, Logan, Colin, and Breatens Mom!)