Saturday, October 20, 2012

Always adapting to the ever changing lifestyle..

Nothing is ever set in stone yet it's always rapidly changing which requires creative adapting from.  That has always been my understanding in my pretty crazy life lived prior to even having kids.  Kids just taught me to kick it up in gear and let it flow naturally and not stress over so many fine details we don't always have control over. 

However, I must say from an admittedly strong stance I've had in life leading up to this [perhaps prior situations were to warm me up for what is happening now?] was always hard and always a struggle.  Yet now, I've admittedly faced my toughest challenge.  Something for years I was extremely thankful and very blessed to consider not having--is a special needs child.  I've seen family struggle for generations with them, friends struggle with raising them, and the more kids I have had the more I took a deep breath each time they seemed 'healthy' and stable.  As they say, don't always count your chickens before they hatched.  But also, listen to those mothers intuitions!  I put a foot in my mouth now as I humbly speak out loud saying I do indeed have a special needs child. 

This child absolutely an individual name and identity.  Colin.  Who this person isn't is the medical names of all these medical ailments.  I get it, those are totally separate.  I've had only a few reminding me that politely or passively.  Let me reassure you all. That is the joy of this mother.  You do your hard work researching the medical information but when it comes to that bread and butter of a loving bonding time with him all that gets left at the door.  Colin is absolutely the most sweetest, kind, loving, and happy boy despite all of the conditions he's had to gleefully face in his little life thus far.  This doesn't mean I won't express his conditions, findings, frustrations, exhaustion's, and do a glimpse of educating to my friends in person or Facebook.  That doesn't mean my outlook on my son is "poor him! SOB story SOB story.." Merely, while I educate others I reassure myself.  To build that support system is those who are able to hear the situation and reciprocate compassion, and empathy.  I'm open to constructive criticism as well as feedback but it doesn't mean I will always agree.  A few simple caring words and support verbalized here and there goes miles.

What isn't support, in my mind, is having Mikes father lay him off right on the verge of almost being done with college on his end and me just beginning.  Not to mention all the out of pocket expenses with Colin and extra gas we've been paying out for lately.  As many might know, we've had a long term estranged relationship for which I won't go into detail unless you'd like to come to me personally and discuss.  What matters if that the focus is put onto my 4 boys at this time and hopefully they can work past their issues.    

We have decided to have a quiet respectful Holiday season low key of any extra stress, drama, or harassment.  If any extended family members would like to reach us they can do so directly on here, email, phone, etc.  We won't be speaking with Mikes parents or his half sister Marci, at all during this Holiday season and we won't speak with extended family through them.  Please come to us directly.  After all the diagnosis with Colin, we want to spend time with Colin and not have extra stress or chaos in our lives.  We want to focus on the 4 boys and give them the best Holiday season they all deserve.  Also, if Colin does indeed have this extremely rare CDD Autistic condition we want to make sure to invest into a video camera and capture all these precious moments with him now.

Thanks and much love to those who have continued to show their love and support,
Carpe Diem!

  

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